"50 Things Nobody Told You About University" joke

1. Quarters are gold. 2. Two meals per day is the standard. 3. Road trip whenever possible. 4. Going to the mailbox was never an ego booster/breaker before. 5. You will begin to nap again. 6. Your bookstore bill will almost equal tuition. 7. Squirt guns = Stress relief. 8. Instant messenger becomes an addiction. 9. E-mail becomes your second language 10. College students throw paper airplanes too. 11. You never realized that so many people were smarter than you. 12. College football is the coolest thing on the planet. 13. Western Europe could be wiped out by a horrible plague and you wouldn't know, but you can recite last week's re-run of The 70's Show verbatim. 14. Cartoons are for all ages. 15. Disney movies are more than just classics. 16. You will never rent/buy more movies in your life. 17. No one is too old for video games. 18. Procrastination is an art form. 19. SNOOD is more addicting than pot. 20. Thanks to Kazaa/Audiogalaxy/Morpheus, you will never listen to any of your CDs ever again. 21. It never hurt so much to get sick. 22. The health service nurses are there because they couldn't make it at a real hospital. Never, don't ever forget that. 23. Care packages are right up there with birthdays. 24. Campus is only clean for Family Weekend and Freshman Orientation. 25. Nothing you want to register for will be open. 26. Classes... the later the better. 27. You are no longer thankful that the fire alarms are here to protect you. 28. Jeans may be worn as many times as the wearer desires. 29. The only time to dress up is when your jeans are dirty. 30. Showers become less important; sleep becomes more important. 31. Asleep by 2:30 am is an early night. 32. Creativity in the dining halls is KEY... 33. The freshman 15 is NOT a myth!!! 34. If it's snowing out, the only reason you will leave your room is for food. 35. Dishes smell af

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