"A Cowboy's Guide to Life" joke

1. Don't squat with your spurs on. 2. Don't interfere with something that ain't bothering you none. 3. If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging. 4. Always drink upstream from the herd. 5. Telling a man to git and making him do it are two entirely different propositions. 6. When you give a personal lesson in meanness to a critter or to a person don't be surprised if they learn their lesson. 7. If you're riding ahead of the herd, take a look back every now and then to make sure it's still back there. 8. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in your pocket. 9. If you get to thinking you're a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else's dog around. 10. And never, ever, miss a good opportunity to shut up.

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