"A Few Ways to Handle Stress!" joke
Stressed out...try some of these relaxing tidbits :)
1. Jam tiny marshmallows up your nose and try to sneeze them out.
(This one is great to teach nieces and nephews!)
2. Use your Mastercard to pay your Visa bill.
(Even better to call after doing it and say you didn't authorize it and want to know what the hell is going on!)
3. Pop some popcorn without putting the lid on.
(This one keeps cats and men occupied for a while.)
4. When someone says "Have a nice day" tell them you have other plans.
(Like going the store to stock up on ammunition maybe?)
5. Get a box of condoms. Wait in line at the check-out counter and ask the cashier where the fitting rooms are.
(And if she's cute, always ask if assistance is available.)
6. Dance naked in front of your pets.
(Not recommended for anyone with a pet gorilla.)
7. Put your toddler's clothes on backwards, and send him/her off to school as if nothing is wrong.
(You can get real creative here...especially if you put a dress on your son.)
8. Read the dictionary backwards and look for subliminal messages.
(Trust me...they're in there! I found 70 in just the A's!)
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