"A Good Chess Player" joke

A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. He watched the game in astonishment for a while. “I can hardly believe my eyes! ” he exclaimed. “That’s the smartest dog I’ve ever seen. ”
“Nah, he’s not so smart, ” the friend replied. “I’ve beaten him three games out of five. ”
Three very tough mice
Three rats are sitting at the bar talking bragging about their bravery and toughness.
The first says, “I’m so tough, once I ate a whole bagful of rat poison! ”
The second says, “Well I’m so tough, once I was caught in a rat trap and I bit it apart! ”
Then the third rat gets up and says, “Later guys, I’m off home to harass the cat. ”

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