"A Lorry driver feeling tired after..." joke

A Lorry driver feeling tired after driving for days decides to stop by at a b and b. The woman who owns it says "im sorry, were full, u can bunk up if ya want" The man being so desperate agrees."But i warn u, the guy your sharing with is a heavy snorer"
Morning after.
"The guy didnt disturb u did he?"
"No" replys the guy.
" Before i went to sleep i stripped naked and gave him a big snog on the lips. so he stayed awake all night watching me with a gun!"

Q: What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
A: You can un-screw a lightbulb!

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What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.

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Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

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Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!

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A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive more...

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