"A Lorry driver feeling tired after..." joke

A Lorry driver feeling tired after driving for days decides to stop by at a b and b. The woman who owns it says "im sorry, were full, u can bunk up if ya want" The man being so desperate agrees."But i warn u, the guy your sharing with is a heavy snorer"
Morning after.
"The guy didnt disturb u did he?"
"No" replys the guy.
" Before i went to sleep i stripped naked and gave him a big snog on the lips. so he stayed awake all night watching me with a gun!"

Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!

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A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive more...

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Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

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Normal people believe that "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." Engineers believe that "If it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet"

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A woman was leaving a 7-11 with her morning coffee when she noticed a most unusual funeral procession approaching the nearby cemetery. A long black hearse was followed by a second long black hearse about 50 feet behind. Behind the second hearse was a solitary woman walking a pit more...

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