"A wife's smoking ultimatum" joke

A man called into a local radio station and told the' morning guys' that his wife had given him an ultimatum: until he quit smoking, he wasn't going to get any sex.

They asked him,' How long do you think you'll be able to hold out?'

Reply:' Until my girlfriend dies.'

A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...

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A construction site boss was interviewing men for a job, when along came Boudreaux. The boss thought to himself, "I'm not hiring that lazy Cajun," so he decided to set a test for Boudreaux hoping he wouldn't be able to answer the questions and he'd be able to refuse more...

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Two guys were in a bar, and they were both watching the television when the news came on. It showed a guy on a bridge who was about to jump, obviously suicidal. "I'll bet you $10 he'll jump," said the first guy. "Bet you $10 he won't," said the second guy. more...

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In his most recent interview, Charlie Sheen says he's been keeping so busy that he hardly has time to neglect his children.

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An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that the "accident of evolution" had created.
"What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!", he said to himself. As he was walking alongside the river he heard a rustling more...

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