"Accordion jokes" joke

An accordion is a bagpipe with pleats.

Q: What is the definition of an optimist?
A: An accordion player with a pager.

Q: What is the difference between an Uzi and an accordion?
A: The Uzi stops after 20 rounds.

Q: What do accordion players use as a contraceptive?
A: Their personalities.

Q: What`s the range of an accordion?
A: Twenty yards if you`ve got a good arm!

Q: What`s a gentleman?
A: Somebody who knows how to play the accordion, but doesn`t.

Q: What`s the difference between an onion and an accordion?
A: No-one cries when you chop up an accordion.

Q: What`s the difference between an accordion player and a terrorist?
A: Terrorists have sympathizers.

Q: What`s the definition of perfect pitch?
A: When an accordion is thrown down the toilet without it touching the sides.

Q: What`s the difference between an accordion and a concertina?
A: The accordion takes longer to burn.

Q: How do you protect a valuable instrument?
A: Hide it in an accordion case.

Q: What`s an accordion good for?
A: Learning how to fold a map.

Q: What`s the difference between a chainsaw and an accordion?
A: A chainsaw can be tuned.

Q: Why is it good that accordionists have a half-ounce more brains than horses?
A: So they don`t disgrace themselves in parades.