"Actual Police Quotes" joke

The following are quotes made by real police officers:
"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
"The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them a while."
"So, you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
"No, sir, we don't have quotas any more. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
"Warning! You want a warning? Okay, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
"Life's tough; it's tougher if you're stupid."
"In God we trust, all others are suspects."

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