"Actual Police Quotes" joke

"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
"The handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."
"So, you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the challan, huh?"
"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or dog?"
"No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we're allowed to cut as many challans as we want."
"Warning! You want a warning? Okay, I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll cut another challan of yours."
"Life's tough, it's tougher if you're stupid."
"In God we trust, all others are suspects."

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