"Arthritis" joke
A very drunken man sat down on a subway seat next to a priest. The man had lipstick smeared on his face, smelled of liquor and had a half empty bottle of scotch hanging out of his pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading.
A few minutes later he turned to the priest and asked, "Father, would you know what causes arthritis?"
"Arthritis, my son, is caused by loose living, too much alcohol, being with cheap women and a contempt for your fellow man," the priest replied.
"I'll be damned," slurred the drunk.
Thinking perhaps he had come on a little too strong, the priest said to the man, "I am so sorry. Please accept my apology. I didn't mean to be rude. How long have you had arthritis?"
"Oh no, Father, I don't have it," the drunk said, "I just read here that the Pope does."
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