"Bad Case of Dandruff" joke
A blonde and a brunette are in an elevator. It stops on the fourth floor and a man gets in who looks perfect... good looking, well built, nicely dressed. Unfortunately, in addition to noticing how attractive he is, both girls also notice his bad case of dandruff.
When the man gets off the elevator on the second floor and the doors close, the brunette turns to the blonde and says, "Gosh, that guy sure was a hunk, but someone should give him Head and Shoulders."
"That sounds like a good idea," replies the blonde, "but how do you give shoulders?"
A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...
A woman's breasts are like a child's toys. They are meant for the child - but the husband is the one that usually ends up playing with them.
I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately
needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my
gas with the beat of the music.
After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,
and more...
I'm hungry:
"I could eat the crotch out of a dead leper's undies."
"I could eat the horse and chase the jockey."
"So hungry I'd eat a shit sandwich, only I don't like bread."
"I could eat the arse out of a rag doll more...