"Bar Room Translations 2" joke

1. “Excuse Me. ” (male to male)
(Get the hell out of the way.)
2. “Excuse Me. ” (male to female)
(I am going to grope you now.)
3. “Excuse Me. ” (female to male)
(Don’t even think about groping me, just get the hell out of the way.)
4. “Excuse Me. ” (female to female)
(Move your fat ass. Who do you think you are anyway? You are not all that, missy, and don’t think for one minute that you are. And get your eyes off of my man, or I’ll slap you like the slut you are.)
5. “What do you have on tap? ”
(What’s cheap?)
6. “Can I have a white Russian? ” (male)
(I’m *really* gay.)
7. “Can I have a white Russian? ” (female)
(I’m *really* easy.)
8. “That person looks really familiar. ”
(Did I sleep with him/her?)
9. Can I just get a glass of water? ” (female)
(I’m annoying, but cute enough to get away with this.)
10. I don’t have my ID on me. ” (female)
(I’m 16.)
11. “I don’t have my ID on me. ” (male)
(I don’t have a license since I got pulled over and blew a 0. 4 after my last visit here)