"Be On The Lookout For The Following New Viruses:" joke

Be On The Lookout For The Following New Viruses:
CLINTON VIRUS
Gives you a 7 Inch Hard Drive with NO memory.
VIAGRA VIRUS
Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.
LEWINSKY VIRUS
Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then emails everyone about what it did.
RONALD REAGAN VIRUS
Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.
MIKE TYSON VIRUS
Quits after two bytes.
OPRAH WINFREY VIRUS
Your 300 MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 100 MB, then slowly expands to 200 MB.
DR. JACK KEVORKIAN VIRUS
Deletes all old files.
ELLEN DEGENERES VIRUS
Disks can no longer be inserted.
TITANIC VIRUS (A strain of the Lewinsky Virus)
Your whole computer goes down (but I think "we go on").
DISNEY VIRUS
Everything in your computer goes Goofy :}.
PROZAC VIRUS
Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care.
JOEY BUTTAFUCO VIRUS
Only attacks minor files.
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER VIRUS
Terminates some files, leaves, but IT WILL BE BAAAAACK.
LORENA BOBBIT VIRUS
Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy, then discards it through Windows