"Birthday face lift" joke
A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday. She spends $5000 and feels really good about the result. On her way home she stops at a newsstand and buys a paper. Before leaving she says to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?" About 35 was the reply.
"I'm actually 47," the woman says happily.A little while later she goes to McDonalds for lunch and asks the order taker the same question, to which the reply is, "I'd guess that you're 29?" "Nope, I am actually 47."She's starting to feel real good about herself. While standing at the bus stop she asks an old man the same question. He replies, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a woman's age. If I put my hand down your pants and play with your fanny for ten minutes I will be able to tell your exact age."As there was no one else around the woman thought what the hell and let him slip his hand down her pants. Ten minutes later the old man says,"OK, it's done. You are 47." Stunned, the woman says, "That was brilliant! How the hell did you do that?" The old man replies, "I was behind you in McDonalds."
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