"Call the Doctor" joke
After an accident, a woman stepped forward and prepared to help the victim. She was asked to step aside by a man who announced, "Step back please! I've had a course in first aid and I'm trained in CPR."The woman watched his procedures for a few moments, then tapped him on the shoulder."When you get to the part about calling a doctor," she said, "I'm already here!"
Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!
A ten-year-old boy walked into a tavern and said to the barmaid, "Give me a Scotch on the rocks."
"You're just a kid," said the barmaid. "Do you want to get me in trouble?"
"Maybe in a couple of years," replied the boy. "But more...
A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive more...
Normal people believe that "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." Engineers believe that "If it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet"