"Cement Cuddlers" joke
WARNING: This describes the cruel, mental torture of innocent toy store employees. Readers under the age of 13 should be accompanied by an adult.
An "Anti-shopping" Trip with the Los Angeles Cacophony Society
by Rev. Al
I had been thinking for a long time about making cement filled teddy bears. I wasn't exactly sure why. At first it was just a perceptual curiosity I wanted to experience, and I wanted others to experience: the idea of being handed what appeared to be a fluffy stuffed animal, only to have it go tearing through your relaxed fingers like a lead meteor.
The Christmas shopping season seemed an ideal time to get them on the shelves of Los Angeles toy stores, so late in November, members of the Los Angeles Cacophony Society gathered in my backyard to gut several dozen plush toys and replace their innards with Portland's finest.
We called them, "Cement Cuddlers."
Each bear wore a full-color laminated label identifying it as such complete with bar code from another toy. Inside the folded tag was the text:
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