"Childhood Lessons" joke

- Even after eating a Tic-Tac, puppies still have bad breath.
- When you're sad, the best place to be is with your dog.
- No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize a cat.
- When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.
- Broccoli cannot be hidden in a glass of milk.
- Never wear stripped or polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
- As you get bigger, your room gets smaller.
- Dogs can't be trusted to watch your food.
- Reading what people write on desks can help get you through the test.
- School lunches will stick to the wall.
- Never sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
- If your sibling hits you, don't hit back. The second person is always the one who gets caught.
- Never hold a cat and a dustbuster at the same time.
- It's impossible to unlearn a bad word.
- You can't start over just because you're losing the game.
- If you want a kitten, start by asking for a horse.
- If you want someone to listen to you, whisper it.