"Chuck Norris has never blinked in his entire life...." joke

Ya mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the door.

- Yo Mama's so fat, she couldn't fit in a satellite photo.
- Yo Mama's so fat, she's on both sides of the family.
- Yo Mama's so fat, when she fell over, she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.
- Yo Mama's so fat, when she sat on a dollar bill, blood came more...

The atom bomb isn’t real.. It’s just Chuck falling out a plane and punching the ground..

Your Mamma's so fat, when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!

A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...