"Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a bric..." joke

What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.

Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!

Ya mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the door.

All you want for Christmas is a hairline!