"Church Bulletin Bloopers" joke

'Apparently' taken from actual church bulletins:
1. Potluck supper: prayer and medication to follow.
2. For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
3. This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
4. Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
5. The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.
6. Don't let worry kill you. Let the Church help.
7. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
8. Tuesday at 4PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
9. This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Bailey to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
10. The choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the Choir!!
11. The Rector is on vacation. Massages can be given to the church secretary.
12. Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
13. Eight new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
14. Evening Massage - 7:00 PM.
15. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.