"Church Poking" joke
A man who went to Church with his wife always fell asleep during the sermon.
The wife decided to do something about this and one Sunday took a long hat pin along to poke him with every time he would doze off.
As the preacher got to a part in the sermon where he shouted out "... and whocreated all there is in 6 days and rested on the 7th.." she poked her husband who came flying out of the pew and screamed "Good God all mighty".
The minister said "That's right, that's right" and went on with his sermon.
The man sat back down, muttering under his breath. and later began to doze off again when the minister got to "... and who died on the cross to save us from our sins..." the wife hit him again and he jumped up and shouted "Jesus Christ".
The Minister said "that's right, That's Right" and went on with his sermon.
The man sat back down and began to watch his wife carefully and when the minister got to "... and what did Eve say to Adam after the birth of their second child?" the wife started to poke the husband but he jumped up and said "If you stick that damn thing in me again I'll break it off".
One day the Lone Ranger and his companion Tonto were walking through the desert when Tonto suddenly stopped, bent down to the ground and said, - "Buffalo Come!"
And the Lone Ranger said, "How do you know Tonto?"
Tonto replied, - "Ear stuck to more...
A farmer named Muldoon lived alone in the countryside with a pet dog which he loved and doted on. After many long years of companionship, the dog finally died so Muldoon went to the parish priest:
"Father, my dear old dog is dead. Could you be saying a mass for the more...
During sex last night, my partner whispered in my ear, "Pretend you're my dad."
I was furious.
"You are one sick-minded girl, what a disgusting thing to ask me."
I stormed out of the bedroom and slammed the door.
I mean, you don't expect shit more...
A Scout Master was teaching his boy scouts about survival in the desert. "What are the three most important things you should bring with you in case you get lost in the desert?" he asked. Several hands went up, and many important things were suggested such as food, more...
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.