"Circle Flies" joke
The Garda, a disagreeable sort, stops a local farmer on a minor infraction and proceeds to berate the poor man this way and that, dressing him down most unfairly. After the lecture, which the farmer takes well, the constable starts writing the poor man up. While he's writing, he keeps swattin' at flies circling his head.
"The circle flies botherin' ya, are they?" says the farmer.
"Why do ya call' em circle flies, old man?"
"We call' em that on the farm' cause we find' em flying around and around the harses' behinds." says the farmer.
"Are you callin' me a harse's arse?" snarls the Garda.
"Oh saints, no," protests the farmer. "T'wouldn't think of such a thing." And the Garda goes back to writing. "...kinda hard to fool the flies, though."
An English man and an Irish man are driving head on, at night, on a twisty, dark road. Both are driving to fast for the conditions and collide on a sharp bend in the road. To the amazement of both, they are unscathed, though their cars are both destroyed. In celebration of their more...