"Clinton Administration Medical Dictionary" joke

Acute: Opposite of an ugly
Artery: The study of paintings
Bacteria: Back door of a cafeteria
Barium: What doctors do to dead patients
Benign: What you are after you're eight.
Bowel: Letter like A, E, I, O, or U
Cat scan: Searching for a kitty
Cauterize: Made eye contact with her
Cesarean Section: Neighborhood in Rome
Colic: A sheep dog
Concussion: A prisoner's sofa
Congenital: To be friendly
D & C: Where the White House is
Dilate: To live too long
Enema: Not a friend
Fester: Quicker
Fibula: A small lie
GI series: A soldier ball game
Hangnail: A coat hook
Impotent: Distinguished, well known
Jaundice: To include in a group
Kinesthetics: Relationships among relatives
Labor pain: Getting hurt at work
Leper: A wild cat
Malaria: Shopping place
Medical staff: A doctor's cane
Morbid: A higher bid
Nitrates: Cheaper than day rates
Node: Was aware of
Outpatient: A person who fainted
Pelvis: A cousin of Elvis
Post-operative: A letter carrier
Recovery room: A place used for upholstery work.
Rectum: It almost killed him
Rheumatic: Amorous
Secretion: Hiding something
Seizure: A Roman emperor
Serology: Study of English Knighthood
Tablet: A small table
Terminal illness: Getting sick at the airport
Tumor: More than one
Urine: Opposite of you're out
Varicose: Nearby
Vein: Conceited