"College Senior vs Freshman" joke

College Seniors vs. Freshman Freshman: Is never in bed past noon.
Senior: Is never out of bed before noon. Freshman: Reads the syllabus to find out what classes he can cut.
Senior: Reads the syllabus to find out what classes he needs to attend. Freshman: Brings a can of soda into a lecture hall.
Senior: Brings a jumbo hoagie and six-pack of Mountain Dew into a recitation class. Freshman: Calls the professor "Teacher."
Senior: Calls the professor "Bob." Freshman: Would walk ten miles to get to class.
Senior: Drives to class if it's more than three blocks away. Freshman: Memorizes the course material to get a good grade.
Senior: Memorizes the professor's habits to get a good grade. Freshman: Know a book--full of useless trivia--about the university.
Senior: Knows where the next class is. Usually. Freshman: Shows up at a morning exam clean, perky, and fed.
Senior: Shows up at a morning exam in sweats with a cap on and a box of pop tarts in hand. Freshman: Has to ask where the computer labs are.
Senior: Has his' own' personal workstation. Freshman: Lines up for an hour to buy his textbooks in the first week.
Senior: Starts to think about buying textbooks in October... maybe. Freshman: Looks forward to the first classes of the year.
Senior: Looks forward to the first beer garden of the year. Freshman: Is proud of his A+ on Calculus I midterm.
Senior: Is proud of not *quite* failing his Complex Analysis midterm. Freshman: Calls his girlfriend back home every night.
Senior: Calls Domino's every other night. Freshman: Is appalled at the class size and callousness of profs.
Senior: Is appalled that the campus Subway burnt down over the summer. Freshman: Conscientiously completes all homework, including optional questions.
Senior: Offers to' tutor' conscientious frosh of the opposite sex. Freshman: Goes on grocery-shopping trip with Mom before moving onto campus.
Senior: Has a beer with Mom before moving into group house. Freshman: Is excited about the world of possibilities that awaits him, the unlimited vista of educational opportunities, the chance to expand one's horizons and really make a contribution to society.
Senior: Is excited about the new dryers in the laundry room. Freshman: Takes meticulous four-color notes in class.
Senior: Occasionally stays awake for all of class.