"Complaints…" joke
St. Peter - even after all these years - still works the front gate at heaven, even though God no longer runs security. Instead, God outsources it to the Pinkerton contract security company. He usually works the 1600 to 2400 hour shift, Monday through Thursday. When asked, what was the toughest part of his job, he gave these observations. -' Keeping the illegal’s out.' -' Those damn [redacted. . . ] sinners say, they just want to come in for two minutes to use the bathroom, and then they'll come right out, and I know that there really isn't a closer public bathroom, so I let them come in and inevitably they disappear, the next thing I know, I hear over the radio, an angel, who lives up the way, was just mugged - halo stolen, and who gets in trouble, but me.' -' The wings that are the required uniform of the security guard are made from a rayon-polyester mix fabric.' -' Like everywhere else, we have a problem with those damn Gypsies. I wouldn't park my bike on the racks outside of the gates of heaven.' -' This place hasn't been the same since the white flight hit Heaven in the' 60s.' -' I stopped going to church in 1974 when they allowed girls to take part in the alter-boy program.' -' I have nothing against uhm mind you, but it's a known fact that the Jews run Hollywood.'
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