"Confusing stuff in the world..." joke

1. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
2. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
3. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
4. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
5. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?
6. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?
7. Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?
8. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
9. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
10. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
11. Why is bra singular and panties plural?
12 Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?
13. How come abbreviated is such a long word?
14. Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?
15. Christmas is weird. What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?