"Death before marriage" joke
On their way to church to get married, a couple is killed when a truck driver goes to sleep at the wheel and his rig crashes head on into their VW bug. St. Peter welcomes them at the pearly gates and invites them in.
The woman isn't so sure. "Actually, we were on our way to get married," she explains, "and unless we have your word we can get married here, too, we're not interested." St. Peter is a bit taken aback, but sends an angel off to make inquiries.
A year, a decade, a century go by, and still teh couple sits at the gate waiting for an answer. Meanwhile, they have been thinking, and decide that they need to know if divorces are possible in heaven too. After all, the marriage might not work.
Finally, the angel returns with the good news-yes-they can get married in heaven. The man rather sheepishly says "We've been talking,... and... um,... well, thanks for all the trouble....but what if we don't get along... could we get a divorce here as well?"
"WHAT THE #@**^?!+???!!!" shouts St. Peter in exasperation "It took a hundred years to locate a priest here, and now *** you *** want *** us *** TO LOOK FOR A *&$#@! LAWYER?!??!!"
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