"Definitions:7" joke

bassoon:
1. typical response when asked what you hope to catch, and when.
2. a bedpost with a bad case of gas.
french horn: your wife says you smell like a cheap one when you come in at 4 a. m.
cymbal: what they use on deer-crossing signs so you know what to sight-in your pistol with.
bossa nova: the car your foreman drives.
time signature: what you need from your boss if you forget to clock in.
first inversion: grandpa's battle group at Normandy.
staccato: how you did all the ceilings in your mobile home.
major scale: what you say after chasing wild game up a mountain: "Damn! That was a major scale!"
aeolian mode: how you like Mama's cherry pie.