"Dirty Claus -- Pick up lines for Santa" joke

Hey Babe, when was the last time you had a really good sleigh?

Care to see my twelve-inch elf?

I've got something special in the sack just for you!

Ever make it with a fat guy with a whip?

I know when you've been bad or good so let's skip the small talk, sister!

Some of my favorite toys run on batteries....

Interested in seeing the North Pole? (Well, that's what Mrs. Claus calls it...)

I see you when you're sleeping and you don't wear any underwear, do you?

Screw the "nice" list. I've got you on my "nice AND naughty" list!

Ho-Ho-How'd you like to shake like a bowl of jelly?

I put the' scroo' in' scrooge!

I've got something you can hang a wreath on!

One hour with me honey and you'll see flyin' reindeer!

That is NO candy cane in my pocket, and I'm glad to see you.

Uh-yeah, that's right. I'm Kenny Rogers.

I got your stocking stuffer right here!

Giddy-up over here and say' Howdy' to your fat, bearded cowboy of love!