"Dog quotes" joke

"If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise"
-Unknown
"Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant."
-Unknown
"Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies."
-Gene Hill
"In dog years, I'm dead."
-Unknown
"To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs."
-Aldous Huxley
"A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down."
-Robert Benchley
"Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives."
-Sue Murphy
"I loathe people who keep dogs. They are cowards who haven't got the guts to bite people themselves."
-August Strindberg
"No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation."
-Fran Lebowitz
"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult."
-Rita Rudner
"If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons."
-James Thurber
"You enter into a certain amount of madness when you marry a person with pets."
-Nora Ephron
"Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful."
-Ann Landers
"Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
-Robert A. Heinlein