"Dogs' Pet Peeves About Humans" joke

Blaming your farts on me. .. not funny.
Yelling at me for barking. .. I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG, YOU IDIOT!!
How you naively believe that the stupid cat isn't all over everything while you're gone.
Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly who's walk is this anyway?
Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose. .. stop it.
Dog sweaters. Have you noticed the fur? Imbecile.
The slight-of-hand-fake-fetch-throw. You fooled a dog! What a proud moment for the top of the food chain, you nitwit!

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