"Drunk" joke
I went out on the piss last night and pulled a georgeous bird.
We made love several times before falling asleep in each others arms.
When I woke up though I had the shock of my life.
She'd put on 60 pounds during the night.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
A mother had 3 virgin daughters. They were all getting married within a short time period. Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt.
The more...
My mate Dave is serving a life sentence for something he didn't do.
He didn't wipe his fingerprints off the knife.
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...