"Employee want ad translations" joke
Energetic self-starter: You'll be working on commission.Entry level position: We will pay you the lowest wages allowed by law.Experience required: We do not know the first thing about any of this.Fast learner: You will get no training from us.Flexible work hours: You will frequently work long overtime hours.Good organizational skills: You'll be handling the filing.Make an investment in you future: This is a franchise or a pyramid scheme.Management training position: You'll be a salesperson with a wide territory.Much client contact: You handle the phone or make "cold calls" on clients.Must have reliable transportation: You will be required to break speed limits.Must be able to lift 50 pounds: We offer no health insurance or chiropractors.Opportunity of a lifetime: You will not find a lower salary for so much work.Planning and coordination: You book the bosses travel arrangements.Quick problem solver: You will work on projects months behind schedule already.Strong communication skills: You will write tons of documentation and letters.
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