"Family Reunion" joke
An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son Bob in New York and says,? I hate to ruin your day, but your mother and I are divorcing. Forty-five years of misery is enough! I?m sick of her, and I?m sick of talking about this, so call your sister in Boston and tell her,? and then hangs up. The son frantically calls his sister, who goes nuts upon hearing the news. She calls her father and yells,? You are not getting a divorce! Bob and I will be there tomorrow. Until then, don?t do a single thing, do you hear me?? The father hangs up the phone, turns to his wife, and says,? It worked! The kids are coming for a visit, and they?re paying their own way!?
Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. Upon leaving, the more...
A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at an old drunken lady swigging her gin as she sits alone at a nearby table.
Finally the wife asks, "Do you know her?"
"Yes," sighs the husband, "She's more...
A guy runs into an ex-girlfriend, with whom he didn't have the greatest relationship.
"You know, I was with another woman last night, but I was still thinking of you."
"Why, because you miss me?"
"No, because it keeps me from coming too more...
One day a blonde walks in to work and is hysterically crying. Her boss comes over to ask her what's wrong and she says "my sister just called - her mom died". Her boss nicely offers to give her the day off but she refuses. A few hours later her boss comes over to check more...
A blonde and her sister were at the blondes house. Her sister said, "I here you are having a party. Why didnt you invite me?"
"I did" said the blonde. She walks over to the computer and picks up her sisters invite and says aw man the email man didnt come.