"Family Stress Test" joke

As part of a seminar I recently attended on stress in the workplace,
I was given a packet which included a family stress test. Our family found
that all of the questions fell into what we considered the "wuss" category,
and generated our own family stress test:
Score 0 if the statement is never true, 1 if it is rarely true, 2 if
it is sometimes true, and 3 if it is always true.
1. ____ Conversations often begin with "Put the gun down, and then we can
talk."
2. ____ The school principal has your number on speed-dial.
3. ____ The cat is on Valium.
4. ____ People have trouble understanding your kids, because they learned to
speak through clenched teeth.
5. ____ You are trying to get your four-year-old to switch to decaf.
6. ____ The number of jobs held down by family members exceeds the number
of people in the family.
7. ____ No one has time to wait for microwave TV dinners.
8. ____ "Family meetings" are often mediated by law enforcement officials.
9. ____ You have to check your kid's day-timer to see if he can take out
the trash.
10.____ Maxwell House gives you industrial rates.
Scoring:
30 - a perfect score. Welcome to the neighborhood!
20-29 - You are doing reasonably well, but still have too little
going on in your life. Crank it up.
10-19 - You have mastered some of the aspects of the stress-filled
life, but still have a long way to go. Have you considered
a parallel career path?
0-9 - Enjoying all that extra time? What do you do anyway?