"Family Stress Test" joke

As part of a seminar I recently attended on stress in the workplace,
I was given a packet which included a family stress test. Our family found
that all of the questions fell into what we considered the "wuss" category,
and generated our own family stress test:
Score 0 if the statement is never true, 1 if it is rarely true, 2 if
it is sometimes true, and 3 if it is always true.
Conversations often begin with "Put the gun down, and then we can talk".
The school principal has your number on speed-dial.
The cat is on Valium.
People have trouble understanding your kids, because they learned to speak through clenched teeth.
You are trying to get your four-year-old to switch to decaf.
The number of jobs held down by family members exceeds the number of people in the family.
No one has time to wait for microwave TV dinners.
"Family meetings" are often mediated by law enforcement officials.
You have to check your kid's day-timer to see if he can take out the trash.
Maxwell House gives you industrial rates.
Scoring:
30A perfect score. Welcome to the neighborhood!
20 - 29You are doing reasonably well, but still have too little
going on in your life. Crank it up.
10 - 19You have mastered some of the aspects of the
stress-filled life, but still have a long way to go. Have you considered
a parallel career path?
0 - 9Enjoying all that extra time? What do you do
anyway?