"Fat kid" joke

I was a chubby kid. My parents sent me to fat camp. I was nervous, but my big brother said, "As soon as you get there, stab the fattest kid you see. No-one will mess with you." I get off the bus at fat camp and some kid runs straight up and stabs me.

A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.
Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands more...

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Q: What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
A: You can un-screw a lightbulb!

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What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.

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Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

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A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive more...

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