"Flattery Equals Time" joke
Two old men met on a street corner. The first old man said, "Where have you been for the past few years?"
The second man replied, "I was in jail."
"What? Why were you in jail?" asked the first man.
The second man said, "Well, I was standing on a corner and this beautiful young woman rushed up with a policeman, pointed to me and said, 'That's the man, Officer. He's the one who raped me'."
"What? And you let her get away with it?" exclaimed the first man.
"Well, I'll tell you, I felt so flattered, I admitted to it," replied the second man.
A police officer stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street."But officer," the man began, "I can explain.""Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back.""But, more...