"Free Ticket" joke
A guy named Bob receives a free ticket to the Oregon-Oregon State game from his company. Unfortunately, when Bob arrives at Autzen Stadium he realizes the seat is in the last row in the corner of the stadium -- he is closer to the blimp than the field.
About halfway through the first quarter, Bob notices an empty seat 10 rows off the field right on the 45-yard line. He decides to take a chance and makes his way through the stadium and around the security guards to the empty seat.
As he sits down, he asks the gentleman sitting next to him, "Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?"
The man says no.
Now, very excited to be in such a great seat for the game, Bob again inquires of the man next to him, "This is incredible! Who in their right mind would have a seat like this at the Civil War game and not use it?
The man replies, "Well, actually the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she just passed away. This is the first Civil War game we haven't been to together since we got married in 1957."
"Wow, that's really sad," says Bob, "but still, couldn't you find someone to take the seat? A relative or a close friend?"
"No," the man replies, "they're all at the funeral."
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