"Funny News Headlines #4" joke

Stolen Painting Found by Tree Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years Never Withhold Herbes Infection from Loved One Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in' 84 War Dims Hope for Peace If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While