"Funny things speakers say" joke
If everything goes as planned this evening, we shouldn't run more than hour late.
Our next guest is the greatest guy in the world. And that's not my opinion - it's his.
These handouts may not make much sense at first, but you'll discover that they're very handy to doodle on when I get real boring.
This lighting really plays tricks on your eyes. I'm actually a lot more handsome and skinnier than I look.
That's a very good question. See me during the break, and I'll avoid answering it then, too.
Don't be embarrassed to ask even the simplest, most basic question-Those are the only one I'll be able to answer.
Our guest of honor finally got an office with a window, but now he spends all day asking, "Would you like fries with that order?"
I think the small turnout can be blamed on your excellent newsletter - obviously, too many people knew I'd be here.
I don't want to suggest that today's food was bad, but three terrorist groups have called in to claim responsibility.
Gee, is my time up already? It seems like only last Thursday I started this speech.
Not enough votes...