"GRAND NATIONAL HORSE RACE" joke

Put yourself in racing commentator mode and read this...!
_The Line up_:
In lane 1. Passionate Lady
In lane 2. Bare Belly
In lane 3. Silk Panties
In lane 4. Conscience
In lane 5. Jockey Shorts
In lane 6. Clean Sheets
In lane 7. Thighs
In lane 8. Big Willy
In lane 9. Heavy Bosom
In lane 10. Merry Cherry
/*/AND THEY'RE OFF!!!/*/
Conscience is left behind at the gate.
Jockey Shorts and Silk Panties are off in a hurry.
Heavy Bosom is being pressured.
Passionate Lady is caught between Thighs //and//...
Big Willy is in a dangerous spot
/*/AT THE HALFWAY MARK:/*/
It's Bare Belly on top, Thighs open and
Big Willy is pushing in.
Heavy Bosom is being pushed hard against Clean Sheets.
Passionate Lady and Thighs are working hard on Bare Belly //and//...
Bare Belly is under terrific pressure from Big Willy.
**/AT THE FINAL TURN:/**
Merry Cherry pops under the strain.
Bare Belly is making a final push.
Big Willy is in //and//...
Passionate Lady is coming.
/*/AT THE FINISH:/*/
It's Big Willy giving everything he's got
Passionate Lady takes everything Big Willy has to offer.
It looks like a dead heat but Big Willy comes through with one final thrust and wins by a head...
Bare Belly slows,
Thighs weakens,
Heavy Bosom pulls up //and//...
Clean Sheets never had a chance.