"Gastric Distress" joke
A young man was delighted to finally be asked home to meet the parents of the young woman he'd been seeing for some time. He was quite nervous about the meeting, though, and by the time he arrived punctually at the doorstep he was in a state of gastric distress. The problem developed into one of acute flatulence, and halfway through the canapes the young man realised he couldn't hold it in one second longer without exploding. A tiny fart escaped. "Spot!" called out the young woman's mother to the family dog, lying at the young man's feet. Relieved at the dog's having been blamed, the young man let another, slightly larger one go. "SPOT!" she called out sharply. "I've got it made," thought the fellow to himself, "one more and I'll feel fine." So he let loose a really big one. "SPOT!!!" shrieked the mother. "Get over here before he shits on you!"
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