"Getting old" joke

A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by his doctor instead of by the police.
Middle age is having a choice of two temptations and choosing the one that will get you home earlier.
You know you're into middle age when you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.
Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.
The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way through Congress.
As we grow older year by year, my husband always mourns: the less and less we feel our oats, the more we feel our corns.
You're getting old when getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.
You're getting old when you're sitting in a rocker and you can't get it started.
You're getting old when tying one on means fastening your MedicAlert bracelet.
You're getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling and you didn't do anything the night before.
It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.
You know you're getting old when you stop buying green bananas.