"Give that man a hand" joke
This yuppie had just gotten his first BMW and wanted to show
it off to his friends. So he goes motoring up Broadway, and parks at
his friends apartment. He was so excited that he forgot to look when
he opened the door. Just then, a taxi comes screaming up and neatly
removes the door from the car, along with the guy's left arm.
The guy jumps out of his car and starts screaming, "My BMW, my
BMW!" The taxi driver comes running up, and says, "Listen, you're in
shock, your arm was taken off and you're losing a lot of blood."
The yuppie just notices that his arm was ripped off and starts
to yell, "My Rolex, my Rolex!!"
Raymond C.Caron (The Lizard)
Three ministers - a Presbyterian, a Methodist, and a Baptist - and their wives were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned, and before long, they were standing before St. Peter.
First came the Presbyterian and his wife. St. Peter more...
2 Scousers are riding along the M62 from Manchester to Liverpool on a motorbike. They break down and start hitching a lift. A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the scousers ask him for a lift.
He tells them he has no room in the wagon as he is carrying 20, more...
Knock Knock
Who's there!
Duncan!
Duncan who?
Duncan make your garden grow better! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Duncan!
Duncan who?
Duncan disorderly again! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Duncan!
Duncan who?
Duncan buscuits in more...
Dear Mom and Dad,
Our scoutmaster told us all to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and worried. We are OK. Only one of our tents and two of our sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily none us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for more...
What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.