"Give that man a hand" joke
This yuppie had just gotten his first BMW and wanted to show
it off to his friends. So he goes motoring up Broadway, and parks at
his friends apartment. He was so excited that he forgot to look when
he opened the door. Just then, a taxi comes screaming up and neatly
removes the door from the car, along with the guy's left arm.
The guy jumps out of his car and starts screaming, "My BMW, my
BMW!" The taxi driver comes running up, and says, "Listen, you're in
shock, your arm was taken off and you're losing a lot of blood."
The yuppie just notices that his arm was ripped off and starts
to yell, "My Rolex, my Rolex!!"
Raymond C.Caron (The Lizard)
Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!
1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"2. Say "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn't put my lips on that." 3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.4. Say, more...
A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive more...
Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!