"Good Old Days" joke
If you were born between 1940 and 1950, this is for you!. ... If not, pass it on to someone who was.: )) We were born before television, penicillin, polio shots, frozen foods, xerox, contact lenses, frisbees and the PILL. We were born before radar, credit cards, split atoms, laser beams and ball-point pens. .. before pantyhose, dishwashers, clothes dryers, electricblankets, air-conditioners, drip-dry clothes -- and before man walked on themoon. We got married first -- and THEN lived together. How quaint can you be??
In our time, closets were for clothes, not for "coming out" of. Bunnies were small rabbits, and rabbits were not Volkswagons. Designer jeans were scheming girls named Jean or Jeannie. And having a meaningful relationship meant getting along with our cousins. We thought fast food was what we ate during lent, and Outer Space was the back of the Riviera Theatre. We were born before house-husbands, gay rights, computer dating, dual careers and computer marriages. We were born before day-care centers, group therapy and nursing homes. We never heard of FM radio, tape decks, electric typewriters, artificial hearts, word processors, yogurt, and guys wearing earrings. For us, "time sharing" meant togetherness -- not computers or condominiums, a "chip" meant a piece of wood, hardware meant hardware, and software wasn't even a word! In 1940, "Made in Japan" meant JUNK and the term "making out" referred to how you did on your exam. Pizzas, McDonalds and instant coffee were unheard of. We hit the scene when there were Five and Dime stores where you bought things for 5 and 10 cents. You could buy ice cream cones for a nickel or a dime, and for one nickel you could ride a street car, make a phone call, buy a Pepsi, or buy enough stamps to mail one letter and TWO postcards! You could buy a new Chevy Coupe for $600. ... but who could afford one?? A pity, too, because gas was only 11 cents a gallon. In our day, Cigarette smoking was fashionable; Grass was mowed; Coke was a cold drink; Pot was something you cooked in; Rock Music was a grandmother's lullabye; and AIDS were helpers in the Principal's office. We were certainly not born before the difference between the sexes was discovered, but we were surely before the sex change -- we made do with what we had. And we were the LAST generation that was so dumb as to think you needed a husband to have a baby.
Hmmmmmmmm. .. so what happened to those "good old days???"
A young woman goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red "H" on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it that he never more...
Two cats: Felix & Un-deux-trois, decided to have a race to see who could swim across the river first.Guess who won? Felix! Because Un-deux-trois cat sank.
(Un deux trois quatre cinq)
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Three ministers - a Presbyterian, a Methodist, and a Baptist - and their wives were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned, and before long, they were standing before St. Peter.
First came the Presbyterian and his wife. St. Peter more...
2 Scousers are riding along the M62 from Manchester to Liverpool on a motorbike. They break down and start hitching a lift. A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the scousers ask him for a lift.
He tells them he has no room in the wagon as he is carrying 20, more...