"Good Old Days" joke

If you were born between 1940 and 1950, this is for you!. ... If not, pass it on to someone who was.: )) We were born before television, penicillin, polio shots, frozen foods, xerox, contact lenses, frisbees and the PILL. We were born before radar, credit cards, split atoms, laser beams and ball-point pens. .. before pantyhose, dishwashers, clothes dryers, electricblankets, air-conditioners, drip-dry clothes -- and before man walked on themoon. We got married first -- and THEN lived together. How quaint can you be??

In our time, closets were for clothes, not for "coming out" of. Bunnies were small rabbits, and rabbits were not Volkswagons. Designer jeans were scheming girls named Jean or Jeannie. And having a meaningful relationship meant getting along with our cousins. We thought fast food was what we ate during lent, and Outer Space was the back of the Riviera Theatre. We were born before house-husbands, gay rights, computer dating, dual careers and computer marriages. We were born before day-care centers, group therapy and nursing homes. We never heard of FM radio, tape decks, electric typewriters, artificial hearts, word processors, yogurt, and guys wearing earrings. For us, "time sharing" meant togetherness -- not computers or condominiums, a "chip" meant a piece of wood, hardware meant hardware, and software wasn't even a word! In 1940, "Made in Japan" meant JUNK and the term "making out" referred to how you did on your exam. Pizzas, McDonalds and instant coffee were unheard of. We hit the scene when there were Five and Dime stores where you bought things for 5 and 10 cents. You could buy ice cream cones for a nickel or a dime, and for one nickel you could ride a street car, make a phone call, buy a Pepsi, or buy enough stamps to mail one letter and TWO postcards! You could buy a new Chevy Coupe for $600. ... but who could afford one?? A pity, too, because gas was only 11 cents a gallon. In our day, Cigarette smoking was fashionable; Grass was mowed; Coke was a cold drink; Pot was something you cooked in; Rock Music was a grandmother's lullabye; and AIDS were helpers in the Principal's office. We were certainly not born before the difference between the sexes was discovered, but we were surely before the sex change -- we made do with what we had. And we were the LAST generation that was so dumb as to think you needed a husband to have a baby.

Hmmmmmmmm. .. so what happened to those "good old days???"

Virgin Mary wanted to visit Hell, so she went to God and asked if she might do so. "Yes," God said. "I have only one warning for you. You must stay away from booze, drugs and men. Will you promise me so?" "Yes," Virgin Mary said. "And remember more...

80
46

your momas so fat when she stepped on the scale it said new high score.

122
21

A story is told of a Jewish man who was riding on the subway reading an Arab newspaper. A friend of his, who happened to be riding in the same subway car, noticed this strange phenomenon. Very upset, he approached the newspaper reader.
"Moshe, have you lost your mind? more...

23
8

Audrey Greyson was a busy housewife with a demanding husband, six children and a large house. The only relief Audrey got from her chores was the twice-a-week bridge game she shared with a dozen other women. The only flaw in the bridge club relationship was that Audrey loved to more...

2
0

An American businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna.
The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took more...

36
12
Be first to comment!
remember me
follow replies
Funny Joke? 6 vote(s). 50% are positive. 0 comment(s).