"**Guy Jokes**" joke

>>>Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
>>>
>>>Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able
>>to
>>>support you.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>Why do women have smaller feet than men?
>>>
>>>So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
>>>
>>>
>>>How do you know when a woman's about to say something smart?
>>>
>>>When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."
>>>
>>>
>>>How do you fix a woman's watch?
>>>
>>>You don't, there's a clock on the oven!
>>>
>>>
>>>Why do men pass gas more than women?
>>>
>>>Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.
>>>
>>>
>>>Why were shopping carts invented?
>>>
>>>To teach women to walk on their hind legs.
>>>
>>>
>>>Women are like guns, keep one around long enough and you're going to want
>>to
>>>shoot it.
>>>
>>>
>>>If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the
>>front
>>>door, who do you let in first?
>>>
>>>The dog of course... at least he'll shut up after you let him in.
>>>
>>>
>>>All wives are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them
>>apart.
>>>
>>>
>>>How many men does it take to open a beer?
>>>
>>>None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
>>>
>>>A woman that won't do what she's told.
>>>
>>>
>>>How many women does it take to paint a wall?
>>>
>>>It depends on how hard you throw them.
>>>
>>>
>>>What do you call a woman with two brain cells?
>>>
>>>Pregnant.
>>>
>>>
>>>I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
>>>
>>>
>>>I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.
>>>
>>>
>>>What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
>>>
>>>Divorced.
>>>
>>>
>>>Bigamy is having one wife too many.
>>>
>>>Some say monogamy is the same.
>>>
>>>
>>>Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by
>>>90%... wedding cake.

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