"HUMOR FOR LEXOPHILES (Lovers of Words)" joke

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger; then it hit me.
Police were called to a day care center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.
The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
A calendar's days are numbered.

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