"Help From the KGB" joke
A phone rings at KGB headquarters.
"Hello?"
"Hello, is this the KGB?"
"Yes. What do you want?"
"I'm calling to report my neighbor Yankel Rabinovitz as an enemy of the State. He is hiding undeclared diamonds in his fire wood."
"This will be noted."
The next day, the KGB goons visit Rabinovitz's house. They search the shed where the fire wood is kept, break every piece of wood there, but find no diamonds. They swear at Yankel Rabinovitz and leave.
The phone then rings at Rabinovitz's house.
"Hello, Yankel! Did the KGB come?"
"Yes."
"Did they chop up your firewood?"
"Yes, they did."
"Okay, now it's your turn to call. I need my vegetable patch plowed."
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