"Horror Movie Survival Tips" joke
1. When it appears that you have killed the monster, never check to see if it really is dead.
2. If appliances start to operate by themselves, move out!
3. Don't ever read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as ajoke.
4. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.
5. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're absolutely sure you know what you're doing.
6. If your car runs out of gas at night, do not go to the nearby deserted-looking house to call for help.
7. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as glowing eyes, fascination for blood, increased hairiness, etc., get away from them as quickly as possible.
8. If you come across a town that apears to be deserted, it's probably deserted for a reason. Take the hint and keep away.
9. Check the back seat of your car before getting in it.
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